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INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism
AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER
It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissistic person. One day they draw you in with their charm and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-esteem, and leave you wondering, What should I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani explains in It’s Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing.
Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist will not stop manipulating and invalidating you, no matter how much you try to appease them. The first step toward healing from their toxic influence—and to protect yourself from future harm—is to accept that you are not to blame for their behavior.
Drawing on more than two decades of studying the landscape of narcissism and working with survivors, Dr. Ramani explores how narcissists hijack our well-being and offers a healing path forward. Unpacking the oft-misunderstood personality, she reveals the telltale behavioral patterns that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissist. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep you stuck in the cycle, grieve the loss of these painful relationships, create and maintain realistic boundaries, discern unhelpful behaviors from narcissistic behaviors, and recover your sense of self after constant invalidation.
Thriving after, or even during, a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but It’s Not You shows you it is possible. Dr. Ramani invites you to stop blaming yourself and trying to change the narcissistic person, and to start giving yourself permission to let go of their hold on you and finally embrace your true self.
From the Publisher
Publisher : The Open Field
Publication date : February 20, 2024
Language : English
Print length : 368 pages
ISBN-10 : 0593492625
ISBN-13 : 978-0593492628
Item Weight : 1.05 pounds
Dimensions : 5.73 x 1.16 x 8.5 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #1,200 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #3 in Self-Esteem (Books) #9 in Popular Psychology Personality Study #9 in Sociology Reference
Customer Reviews: 4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 3,585 ratings var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });
Customers say
Customers find this book insightful and life-changing, providing practical guidance and helping them identify patterns in their lives. The writing is well-structured and easy to understand, while the author’s compassionate approach helps readers work through grief and shame. Customers appreciate its relatability, with one noting it’s enriched by real-life anecdotes, and its validating nature, with one review mentioning it’s backed by empirical information. The book offers hope and is considered a must-read for the entire world.
